When I was 4 years old, I remember the days when my mother and father got separated. It was peculiar growing up when your father wasn’t around. I won’t forget the night wherein there was a party in our house when my mother and father were inside the bedroom and I don’t know why I was there. All of my relatives were in the sala having their good time. I just can’t remember what occasion was that. My mother was screaming on my father pointing a gun to my dad’s head. I was crying so hard that night in front of a mirror. There were times that my eldest brother and I stayed in our room while mother and father were having their argument. I wasn’t aware about the reason why they got separated. I woke up one day that my dad wasn’t in our house anymore. I’m not eager to know what’s happening between the two of them since I’m still a child. Until I was 8 years old, I met my younger stepbrother. Of course, I was shocked. I was not hurt for the fact that I have a little brother. But then, I realized that my dad had a mistress and that was the problem that my mom was carrying during those times.
In a turn-around of events, everything was placed according to its places. My parents got back together and we are all happy. Everything is doing well. However, as I grew up and in the process of becoming a matured individual, I always have this question in my mind; “Why my father committed infidelity?”
There are a lot of reasons and factors why men cheated their wives. I don’t know what would be the real reason of some men. Probably they’re not happy anymore with their relationship, or poor communication if their wives are abroad, or peer pressure, which they think if a man has more woman they are real men or conveying the macho image. Every guys mind is a puzzle. It’s challenging to solve.
I think, the reason why father cheated my mother was, he was experiencing emotional dissatisfaction that time. Probably mother also did something wrong because if there were none, my father will not have a mistress. My father might be looking for something, which he found from another woman. There’s a possibility that father thought he felt a different kind of love from another woman. I wonder if my father even thought about my mother’s feelings. There are a lot of probabilities and possibilities. Now I’m 19 years old, there are times that I want to ask my father why he cheated on my mother. However, I don’t have the courage to ask him because it’s a sensitive matter. I know everything has its purpose and reasons. We may learn it on the spot or in the process. But sometimes there are things that we cannot answer. And there are things that are better left unsaid or unanswered.
All men are hunters. It’s part of human nature for people to be attracted in different ways. When the words “infidelity” and “cheating” are brought up, they are always applicable on the male species. Probably if given the irresistible chance or circumstance, there could be a possibility that my mother would cheat on my father. Just like the quote by Henry Ward Beecher, there is always a possibility that given the right temptation based on their preferences, men and women can be attracted emotionally or physically, and even if we are committed can commit infidelity. This only signifies that as human beings, we are not perfect. And this paves way or might somehow justify “human nature”. No matter how strong and founded our character is, there are always chances that we commit mistakes.
With those experiences that I had, I learned how to give importance to the feelings of others especially to my loved ones. I don’t want to experience the same thing that my mom experienced in her life when my dad cheated on her. If they cheated the only point is they don’t care about your feelings. You can forgive but you can’t forget. Sometimes my mom told me that the trauma is still there and it haunts her at night when there are going to sleep. I can’t blame my dad for what he did. I believe he had reasons. I can’t give her advices though I believe my dad respects her now. My dad won’t come back to us if he wasn’t sorry.
I just say that we can’t deny that we can be physically attracted to some individuals knowing we have our commitments but it comes with self-discipline. I keep insisting her that past is past because it made her even stronger to face every challenges.
If being applied to reality of life, probably it depends upon on each person’s understanding. Infidelity is a sensitive issue, from the beginning till the end. It can be committed either by the male or female. The father or the mother can commit infidelity. This topic is subjective and relative. For some, infidelity can conclude and proved that the other party is not worthy of the love that was given, hence ending the relationship and going separate ways.
For others, infidelity strengthens the relationship that they have because it was tested by temptation. Thus giving the relationship a second chance, which made it lovelier the second time around. Even if it’s case-to-case basis, I find it intriguing. No matter what the situation is, it’s a matter of how we apply what we have learned or how we take them as an individual, whether for the good or for the bad.